Dr. GURU speaks,
Your body language and physical articulation are all-important in positively communicating with others.
- When you enter a room of people look all around with a smile on your face if you want to appear approachable.
- Keep a comfortable distance from others. People have their own personal space.
- To make a good first impression you have to appear interested, not interesting.
- Greet people with the opened hand. Hand-shakes should be web-to-web and firm. When approaching a hand-shake you should extend your hand ahead of time to show the other person your intentions and give them time to react. You must also maintain eye-contact. This shows strength and honesty.
- If you touch somebody who is not well known to you, the arms and shoulders are safe areas.
- Do not touch a person’s head unless you are well known to them. This can be taken as domineering or patronising and can easily cause offense.
- Expressive and explanatory gesturing can accentuate the spoken word.
- Do not cover your mouth with your hand. This is saved for times of reconnaissance.
- Avoid crossing your arms and legs...this can close you off from free dialogue. Professionals, Doctors, Academics and women are exempt as their habitual posture may be with legs crossed. Having crossed arms can also indicate interest, focus and privacy, particularly when leaning in towards the other person.
- Avoid resting an ankle on the knee when seated...this displays the socks and soles of the foot-wear.
- Avoid scratching yourself...this indicates doubt and uneasiness.
- Avoid playing with your hair. This indicates a lack of self-confidence and insecurity. Exemption is given to women flirting.
- Avoid biting your nails. This indicates insecurity and nervousness.
- Avoid pointing with the finger (unless at an object you are referring to)...this can be considered too strong, or even rude. Joining the middle-finger with the index-finger can be more subtly used when gesticulating. Likewise, the “come-hither” gesture is better done with more than one finger.
- Avoid fidgeting...this indicates discomfort, anxiety or boredom.
- Avoid leaning on something which is someone else’s property when in front of them...this indicates that it is your property.
- Avoid resting your head on your hand (unless in admiration)...this indicates boredom.
- The difference between a soft and a hard person is that one tapers off at the end of a speech and the other maintains it to the bitter end.
- Eye-contact can show sincerity and confidence, or reveal turmoil. In some cultures, eye-contact can be considered disrespectful. Different people will want different levels of eye-contact at different times.
- A sincere smile also involves the eyes. An even smile looks more genuine. Even forcing a smile or laugh can begin to make you feel better. In some cultures, smiling at an important event can be taken as mockery.
- A “chin-up shoulders-back” attitude demonstrates confidence and happiness.
- When having your hands in your jean or trouser pockets leave either the thumb or fingers hanging out (unless very cold). This makes you appear more open and relaxed.
- Do not allow your hands to stray above head-level for too long, or too frequently. This indicates nervousness whilst leaving you looking ridiculous.
- When someone mirrors your physical actions they are on the same “wave-length” as you and are open to suggestion.
- Raising the shoulders and leaning in towards someone indicates interest or attraction.
- Shrugging your shoulders and rolling your eyes whilst talking about yourself indicates a lack of confidence.
- People that tell a lie can sometimes be seen to physically coil into themselves or stop moving.
- A guilty person gets defensive. An innocent person will often go on the offensive.
- A guilty person will often use the accusation in their answer, e.g. “Did you do it?”...”No, I did not do it”.
- Slightly raising your hand indicates to the other person that you wish to speak.
- Comfortable and blissful silence with one another can be one of the greatest measures of a good stable relationship.
The GURU must now sleep.